Last New Roommate

I guess he was just jetlagged on day one. He walked into the room around 12:30am and started singing "Pussy pussy pussy marijuana pussy" before he went into the bathroom to vomit and shit in the shower. Then he coerced me into getting out of bed to go back out to the bar to drink. I just want to sleep my nights away so I can sign off already.
Why does every click of my mouse send this computer reeling into boughts of hourglassed confusion? And why I am I charged per minute to stare at a "application not responding" notice? Time for bed.

Crossing Complete.

Singapore is big and modern and impressive and apparently super rich. Everybody be drivin' their mazeratis on the lefty wearin' versace.
No but really, I went to a mall that had a river in it with gondola boats you could be paddled around in as you took in the lavish, modern fountains and up scale shopping scene. It was right across the street from a skyscraper hotel that appeared to have a cruise ship resting on top of it. The hotel also had a ferrari or lambourghini that its guests were free to take out for a spin.
However, I didn't really feel like emptying my bank account on a new pair of porsche shoes, so we asked a cafe employee to tell us where we might go to get something a little more authentic and local. He told us to go to Orchard st., which unfortunately turned out to just be the outdoor version of the mall. At least there were some small cafes that were cheap and delicious mixed in with the armani and rolex stores. I ate something called haru goreng or something which turned out to be tofu, cucumbers and sprouts in a spicy sweet sauce. Tasty cakes to the max. After that we got ice cream at a little vendor which was selling literal ice cream sandwiches, a slice of bread folded around scoops of ice cream. I got the corn flavor which turned out to be fantastic.
On the way back to the ship I asked our taxi driver where he would suggest we go on the next visit to really get to see the authentic Singapore. He was very helpful and told us to just take the subway train system to basically anywhere besides where we were today and even wrote down a few of his favorite stops. I'm definitely going to try one of them next time we're here which will be in three days.
Today's work load was pathetic. We had a rehearsal to play the welcome aboard song and one song (the Peter Gunn Theme) for a headlining act. Then, we did the passenger drill, which went smoother than ever because now 95% of the passengers are asian and great at following directions even though they don't all speak english very well. My muster station teammate even told me how to say "have fun!" in chinese, so for the next cruise I'll try it out. It sounded like wanda kai tshin, so help me remember that. Now, I am just coming from the first welcome aboard concert, where we learned that we wouldn't need to do the Peter Gunn Theme after all. The concert started at 9:00pm and we were in our cabins by 9:05pm. The second showing is at 10:45 so I have plenty of time to write this before the next, equally strenuous, 3 minutes of work. How will I ever survive?
I have a new roommate today because Collin is off to start his next contract on the Jewel, which is based in England. His name is Roscoe and he's from LA. I guess I only have 7 days with him, so it doesn't matter if I like him or not, be he seems cool enough anyway.
Tomorrow we'll be back at Port Kelang, Malaysia where the nearest thing to do is an hour away by taxi. Something tells me I'll just be eating the delicious, cheap, fried rice in the food court outside the port.

The Middle East, India, Etc...

Woah, I guess I haven't done one of these in a while. Chances are good that some stuff has happened since my last post. Let's see...
A stage staff member got fired for going into a guest's room (he knew the guest from home and nothing sexual happened.) Hooray!
We did some pirate safety training, but unfortunately never had to put any of it into action :(
In the last 2 weeks I've been at sea for all but 4 of the days.
The pyramids were amazing. Even though it was incredibly hot, even though the locals were the most pushy and rude I've seen yet, and even though there was a 3 hour bus ride to get there, it was still one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Them things are old!!
Jordan was a total unknown before I got there. The deserts between the port and the ancient ruined city of Petra had a mystical, magical presence to them. It was humbling to see the nomads in the desert doing exactly what they and their ancestors have been doing for thousands of years. Petra itself was absurd. I'm not even bothering to upload any pictures now because the internet is so bad, but I'll get 'em up ASAP when I get back to Ithaca.
Goa, India was perhaps the saddest port I've visited so far. The poverty there was awful. Many people were sleeping on the sidewalks or approaching us to beg for money. They followed us for blocks to try to get us to buy their cheap souvenirs or take a ride in their taxi, no matter what we told them. There were stray dogs and cats everywhere and dead rats and birds littered the streets. The heat was incredible. We stopped at a small cafe and ordered some drinks and food. My falooda was creepy in texture and appearance, but it basically tasted like ice cream, which is mostly what it was. Our whole bill between the four of us was only $10.
Today we're in Cochin, India but because HR failed to get us our seaman's books (kinda like a seaman's passport) in time even though they had months to do it, we can't get off the ship. Instead we're doing the production show Rhythm and Rhyme 3 times, tech run and 2 performance show times. Only half of the new cast made it to the ship on time due to more clerical errors (big surprise.) This means that half of the old cast had to stay on the ship longer and some of them had to learn additional parts to compensate. The poor dance captain has to lip sync one of the singer's parts for the show. It looks terrible no matter how good a job he does. I hear we're doing the other production show on the first day the second half of the new cast is showing up. That means that morning is going to be bonkers with tech runs and rehearsal and its still likely to be a train wreck disaster.

Alright alright alright 13 days to go. Next stop is Malaysia, then I dunno Thailand or something and then we reach our next home port of Singapore. From there I will have two three day cruises and then home I go. I can't even tell you how much pizza and ice cream I'm going to eat. Gary better look out because he's going o be pet until he can't stand it anymore.

Europe

Hey so it turns out the first 4 months of my cruise were just about the worst 4 months anyone can ever experience in a royal caribbean cruise contract. Generally a cruise ship circuit will have less days at sea and much, much better ports. The ports we visited each week in the caribbean were entirely useless as places of cultural interest. They were set up as places to sell expensive jewelry to rich people and cheap souvenirs to everyone else. Now we are in places that could care less about tourists and are just there to be the excellent, amazing cities that they are. Good gravy I drank so much espresso today. Malaga, Spain is beeeautiful, beautiful beautiful. Much of the city is pedestrian only. Even the buildings that weren't centuries old churches and palaces were gorgeous and there were cafes serving espresso and sangria all over the place. No one was bugging me to buy cheap crappy trinkets or offering me cab rides to muggings. Eating an entire pizza by myself was like a religious experience after eating nothing but ship mess food for 9 days straight.
The best part about all of this is that the next three ports are also in spain; Cartagena, valencia, and barcelona. Huzzaaahhh!!!! This is why people work on cruise ships.
Alright I'm done ripping through my paycheck with internet. I'll try to write something better later. Byyye!

Night Air

Tonight was our last day in new Orleans. For to the different schedule for permanently leaving a port, they moved the boat drill from 4 to 8pm. For the most part, this is pretty who cares. However the whole time I was out on the deck I couldn't notice that I felt more happy and alert than I normally do during boat drill. It wasn't until the end that I realized this was because I was smelling fresh, warm, night air for thwarting first time in months. Because of the fact that I am only ever off the ship during the day and the only place I ever go on the ship at night that has open air is the back deck which is riddled with cigarette smoke, I have not smelled that energizing aroma of warm night time air since before I signed on. What a strange thing to make my home sickness intensify. I can only hope that there will be more nights spent  outside in my future. Also hopefully pizza. I love me some pizza...

Things That Go Crash Bang Boom in the night

I thought I would take a moment to describe the plethora of sounds that keep me awake during an average night here on the Voyager of the Seas.
There are various creaks and crunches of the walls and ceiling as the pressure of the water against the hull causes the ship to contort and twist slightly. This includes one particular little voice right near my pillow that at one time I thought was caused by the motion of my breathing because it had a rhythmic quality that seemed to follow the in and out of my lungs. There is a squeak and squeal of collin's plexi-glass shelf that rubs against the wall. There are many other less identifiable sounds of this nature that could be mice in the ceiling, although I certainly hope they aren't. There is the never ceasing sound of the air circulation system in the bathroom, which the door doesn't quite block out. As pleased as I am that it helps to curtail the unavoidable smell that inevitably saturates the bathroom, and that it keeps me from dying of smoke inhalation if there is a fire in the hall, I do wish that it would do its job a little more quietly or perhaps more intermittently.
Despite living in a fairly remote corner of deck 1, forward, port side, there is a constant stream of talking and busy noises coming from the hallway outside. Youth staff jabbering in spanish, workshop guys wheeling carts and speaking Tagalog, facilities people vacuuming, etc... Sometimes my neighbors, who happen to be members of the poolside reggae band practice in the room. Thankfully, whenever a show is happening in La Scala Theater I am generally there taking part in it, because the bass from the theater bleeds as easily in my room as blood through tissue paper. If I know the song, I can sing right along with whatever is being played upstairs.
However, all of these sounds are pancakes compared to the two real culprits of sleep theivery. One of them happens when the bow thrusters come on to keep the ship from drifting off while it is anchored off shore. This makes my room shakes like a magnitude 5 earthquake. Glasses clank together, small objects fall of shelves and my room is filled with a rumbling that would wake a drunken sailor(which is exactly what it does). Luckily this only happens when we are unable to dock and tie down the ship, which is once a week at Grand Cayman. Speaking of which, today was our last day there! Huzzah! The other incredible noise only happens during rough weather and that is the crashing of waves against the hull. As my room is situated in an outer corridor, there is relatively little that separates it from the ocean. When a wave hits the hull, it makes a sound like a car crash. Its loud enough not only to easily wake me, but it triggers my fear response, pumping me full of adrenaline and keeping me from going back to sleep for some time. The shock waves have a few times even knocked my phone of the receiver. The first time I heard it I thought we had hit a whale, until it kept repeating for so long that I didn't think there could be that many whales in our path. On a particularly rough day, or usually night because we are more often traveling during the night, there can be crashes every 30 seconds or so. I've often wanted to ask the waves why they can't peaceably slide along the edge of the ship like they do on so many other occasions, but unfortunately they don't speak English.

In other news, tomorrow is our very last visit to the Mexican island of Cozumel, which besides our home port of New Orleans is the only place at which I actually enjoy getting of the ship. The plan is, as always, to go to our favorite restaurant La Choza and enjoy the cheesy Choza sauce and chips in the breezy indoor/outdoor atmosphere of the authentic Mexican experience. La Choza is to my tummy as bow thrusters are to my room; its making it rumble.

New Skill

Hey guys, I finally learned how to play trumpet! It took 15 years and more relevantly, 4 months of being a professional to figure it out, but I finally got it. It turns out I had something right in high school. When I got to college I had changed my embouchure due to a problem I had then, but I've been having horrible endurance and range problems, so a few days I switched back to my high school embouchure and I'm never looking back. It's so nice to know that I've just been doing it wrong this whole time and its not something that is physically impossible for me. Now the shows are exactly as easy as they should be for me and I'm not constantly struggling to keep my lips from giving out.
Today is the 2nd to last stop in New Orleans, which means this week is my last chance to pick up any cheap, crappy souvenirs from the caribbean ports. Any requests? They've got plastic trinkets, glass breakables, and tons of heavy luggage weights that could be yours if you'd like me to pick anything up. I'm excited for my last trip to La Choza in Cozumel, Mexico to eat delicious chicken quesadillas and drink their yummy cinnamony coffee. Maybe I'll try to catch one of the many roaming chickens in Grand Cayman. It was always nice to hear an exuberant chorus of cock-a-doodle-doo at random times during the day there.
We are getting a new piano player today. Victor is making his way back to Syberia as we speak and I'll meet the new Philippino guy later tonight at our welcome aboard concert. The piano job is always tough because there are so many times when he is the only one playing and that means catching a lot of cues and transitions, so hopefully his english will be good.
Now I'm off to the Napoleon House for a delicious Muffulleta and some pimms cups. Bye-bye!